2008 a year in review

Man, am I old... I can NOT believe another year has come and gone.... the older I get, the faster it goes.

2008 has been an interesting year, to say the least. The economy, gas prices, the election, government bailouts.... Despite all that, it has still been a good year. And I wanted to reflect on the year today in my blog.

The first most memorable thing I can think of, was having Troy and Tori live with us for a little while. For 9 days, I was the mother to FOUR kids! Never in my wildest dreams would I have EVER thought I could say that. When they came, I was the happiest woman in the world. And when they left, I was the saddest. But having them here made me realize that I CAN handle the highs and lows of fostering. And I am thankful for the time they were here.

The second most memorable thing I can think of, was officially being the mom of TWO TEENAGERS. Yikes! How did that happen? Just yesterday Garrett was a fat rolly polly baby, then a toddler following his big brother around calling him "bubby" and now he is a TEENAGER! My BABY turned 13 this year!

The third most memorable thing I can think of, was Blaine turning 16 and getting his license. Thus leading to his first wreck a month later. And with that came typical high school drama. Man am I glad I am out of high school and all the crap that goes with being in high school. Now I have to see my children live through those things. And I HATE it! Blaine had his first date, his first broken heart, his first fist fight, numerous "sweet 16" parties.... it's been interesting to say the least.

Robert got a motorcycle in June. For many years I have been dead set against him getting a motorcycle. I finally caved and he got one. Little did I know how much I would enjoy going for rides with him!

I lost my 13 year old Dakota (Blue Heeler) in July. And I lost a dear friend this month, RIP Amy.

Garrett was in a play this month. You know, I think back to Garrett when he was little. He could not enunciate anything, was in speech therapy and occupational therapy and I wondered what his future would hold. Never ever would I have imagined then, that he would be on stage reciting lines, acting and doing a FANTABULOUS job at it too. I had tears in my eyes watching that young man on stage, just so proud of how far he has come.

And we switched our license over from straight adopt to foster/adopt. Just waiting for the phone to ring for a placement.

2008 was a year full of football, football camps, breakdance lessons, caseworker visits, training classes, drama rehearsals. It was a busy year to say the least, the busiest that I can remember....but a great one just the same.

For 2009, I hope to be able to take a family vacation (somewhere NICE), I hope to meet my new daughter, I hope to read more, I hope to grow closer to God, I hope to be a good wife and mom, I hope to spend more time with my mom, I hope to continue to be blessed with all the things that God has blessed me with thus far.

FIVE THINGS I'M THANKFUL FOR:
1. Happy, healthy, smart, caring kids!
2. My Husband!
3. A busy great 2008!
4. My furbabies!
5. Diet coke and Starbuck's coffee to feed my caffeine addiction!

Well, that is all for now..... I have to go supervise 3 boys demolishing gingerbread houses out in the yard. I absolutely LOVE my life!!!!!!

My revelation

I posted this on myspace and facebook about a month ago... but thought I'd share it here too.... I like to go in and read it every now and then to remind myself how far I've come in this adoption process.
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This may sound hokey to some. But last night I was watching a church service on tv and the message TOTALLY spoke to me. Normally I am leary of televangelists, this one is more of a motivational speaker than a Preacher, but last night was something I needed to hear. It was about faith, how the enemy uses trials to weaken our faith, how God uses trials to increase our faith, how when we face problems we need to face them as temporary, just everything that I have done wrong over the last year. This process (adoption) has made me lose faith. I did some soul searching last night and I see it. All of the doubts, fears, concerns are the enemy working in me. I know my faith has been tested, and I see it now. I had lost faith in God in this process. It is hard to explain but something clicked inside me last night. The trials we are going through are NOT signs we are supposed to quit. The adversities we are facing with our agency are not permanent. God is working in me, and I feel it today. I truly believe in my heart that God did not give me this desire to hurt me or disappoint me. He gave me this desire because he needs me to be the Mother to another child. As impatient as I am, he is working for me. He is working in me, to regain that faith in him that I once had. And my heart was open and received his message. I woke up today a completely different person.... the old Sharon that leaned on and trusted in Him.... .

Nesting

Today I feel the need to write about adoption. As you all know, we have been trying to adopt through the state for over 2 years now. We started the process in July/August 2006, and were licensed to adopt in January 2007. January 10th we will have been "officially" waiting 2 years.

Most of that time waiting, I have been a neurotic mess. Let's face it, I am a control freak. It is hard to control something like this and it almost took me two years to realize it, but I can't control God's will or CPS.

Last February, we had two kids move in with us. Troy was 6 and Tori was 3. They were kids from our town, that we had known about for almost a year. They went to the same daycare that my kids went to, and through word of mouth in a small town, we found out about them. They came up for "committee" and we were not chosen. I was sad, but everytime we go to committee and aren't chosen, I am sad. It is hard to not take it personal, ya' know!?

So one day I decide that I am so tired of all this waiting. Done, finished, don't want anything to do with adopting anymore. That is something that happens in this process (at least for me). You start doubting yourself, wondering if you are really supposed to be doing this, is this really what I have been called to do? That was last February. I call my agency to let them know and they ask me if I am sure.... because they are having to remove Troy and Tori from their new adoptive home. So I frantically call Robert and we say yes. They bring them over at 8 that night. And I instantly fell in love. They were with us for 9 action packed days full of Investigators, Caseworkers and Doctors visits. Then one Saturday bright and early the Caseworker calls that they are going back to their original home. I was devestated to say the least... and pretty much sunk into a depression.

But fast forward almost a year later. We still get to see Troy and Tori occasionally. They are the sweetest kids and will always have a special place in my heart.

One night while watching Joel Osteen on tv, I had a revelation. One I wish I would have had years ago. I still hold strong to the belief that God did not bring me this far to watch me suffer, to hurt me by not giving me the Daughter I have longed for so many years. I truly believe in my heart that God gave me this desire because he needs me to be the mother to another child. And I am certain that it WILL happen. Not in MY time, but in HIS.

This long weekend, I have truly been "nesting". I reorganized the Princess room, took pictures of the room (Robert said I was weird for doing that) and tried ot organize the plethera of baby/kid items that so many of my wonderful friends have donated. I have been so blessed by people in my life that support us in our decision to adopt, and that have donated so much stuff to "the cause". That little 10x12 bedroom is packed to the seams, the closet is overflowing. I have so much stuff in there that while I was

"nesting" I wondered what in the world are we going to do with all this stuff when we actually have a little one in this room and it can't be used for a storage room anymore? :-)

I can not WAIT for that phone to ring. I know with one phone call, that our lives will change drastically. Will she be an infant? Will she be school aged? What color hair will she have? What will her voice sound like? What will her laugh sound like? And her cry? Will she eventually love me as much as I already love her?

The UFC fight...

Ok, for Christmas, Robert and I decided we were going to buy the UFC fight for each other. Yea, TOTALLY my idea of a fabulous Christmas present. But whatever, I went along with it. I DID get the camera I wanted for Christmas (little did I know that same camera would catch my blonde moment live and in action). And I DO have a favorite fighter (Forrest Griffin) and he was fighting that night. So Robert buys the fight... I plop down on the couch with my laptop. I am Ebaying, trying to figure out this blog thing, TOTALLY not paying attention to the fights at allllll. So Robert and Garrett are watching the fight. Robert is so into it, he doesn't even realize I am not watching a lick of this fight we "bought each other for Christmas". At one point I hear him yell GET UP FORREST, NO FORREST.... I look up and it is round 3 of the fight I wanted to watch. I see enough of the fight to see my favorite fighter lose! I ask Robert why he didn't tell me Forrest was on, him and Garrett die laughing... (it is so nice to be outnumbered all the time!).

Little did I know, Robert was recording the fight for a friend and my stupidity is caught on camera.

Guess I ought to pay more attention next time.

A lazy Saturday....

At least I THINK it is Saturday. I have been off work since Tuesday at noon. I feel like it has been a month since I have been at work. But yet the thought of going back Monday makes me sad. I am thankful for the time off, nonetheless!

After all the hussle and bussle of Christmas, I have been such a homebody! I have not left the house since Christmas night!

Blaine is in Colorado with is bio-Grandma and half sister visiting his two half brothers. I miss him terribly! He emailed me a picture of his first MOUNTAIN to see.... living in Texas, we don't get to see much! He was so disappointed to find out that there isn't snow EVERYWHERE in Colorado.









So while he was gone, Robert and I rearranged his room. Both the boys got flat screen tv/monitors for Christmas. So we had to get the old 75 pound monitor and huge box tv out of his room. He isn't here, so what better time to declutter and make use of some much needed space. It looks really good now! Garrett's room is next, but he doesn't want anything rearranged.... go figure!

The house is quiet without Blaine here. I don't have a house full of teenagers like normal. Garrett is so quiet and content.... sitting beside me on the couch watching "The Dark Knight". I am in my pink fluffy comfy pj's that my Daddy got me for Christmas.... just being lazy!

just starting out...

Well, everyone I know has a blog... so I figured I'd catch up with the times and start one too. Don't have much to say, I'm supposed to be watching the UFC fight that we rented (gahhh), just wanted to get something started on my blog so it didn't look so sad. :-)