Today marks one year from the day that Troy and Tori left. My how time flies.... but yet it seems like just yesterday. I have spent a lot of today reflecting on the short time they were here, and how much I love them. These kids came in like a whirlwind and left the same way. I must say, when they left it was one of the saddest days of my life. The house never seemed so quiet.
It seems like just yesterday when I was driving Troy to school, I asked him what tomorrow is... he said "my balemtime's party". I smiled. I then asked, "would you like me to come to your party? I know other parents will be there". His little face just lit up. "Will you go? Puhleeeeeze?" I said "if you would like me to, OF COURSE I WILL"..... So last Friday, while all my co-workers were at their kids' Valentine's parties, I sat at work thinking about how much fun it was to be at that Valentine's party. How his face lit up when I walked in. How he introduced me to all his friends. How special he felt by me just being there.
I worry about them. I love them. I wonder about them. I miss them. They still have a huge place in my heart, and always will.
We have seen them a few times since they left. They remember us, even though they were only here for a little while. I think our visits with them are done though... Tori's birthday was in January and we weren't invited to a party for her. So I guess our job there is done.
So now we sit here, a year later.... and still haven't had any other placements. And quite frankly, TODAY, I could care less. I am soooooo over this whole adoption/foster process. I am now resigned to the fact that we will soon have an empty nest. And I imagine what that will be like... and am learning to accept it. It will be hard, because I need to be doing things for others. But I am kind of looking forward to doing things solely for my Husband. And I am sure he will appreciate that too!
FIVE THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. Snuggling on the couch with my dogs
2. Cheeseburgers and onion rings.... there are some days those are totally necessary.
3. Slow days at work.
4. Comfy jeans and comfy tennis shoes. The wardrobe staple for a frumpy mom.
5. Dove chocolate. I could eat a whole bag right now.....
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Today you are allowed to be just where you are my dear friend!! And I love your ability to get right to the heart of the matter and to allow your heart to be so truly transparent!!
ReplyDeleteOh onion rings and the cheeseburger is great with bacon...i can like hear my arteries hardening at the thought.
Oh Sharon, you ARE so young to have an empty nest and you are the loving sweetest person that will always find a way to do things for others. I keep hoping God has a special child waiting just for you, but I know if it doesn't work out that way that He'll find a way to bring children and others that need someone special like you into their lives. You are such a wonderful helpful special person, I bet your hubby can't wait to have you all to himself more. T&T were so lucky to have you for that scary time in their lives. I'm lucky for you too.
ReplyDeleteI am sending YOU some fun dip! ;) I understand your feelings about being down...I agree with everyone else, I don't think God is done with you yet!
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