Peace

Well, we FINALLY made it to the new bible study tonight. I have wanted to go the last 2 weeks. The first week, I was tired, said I'd start next week. The next week we missed because of Garrett's xray appointment. This week, come hell or high water I was going. Well wouldn't you know it, my old shoulder injury flared up this week. I have been in tears all week long. I come home, take a muscle relaxer and go to bed. By the end of the day, I am just in tears from pain. But today.... I didn't care. I took it for what it was, an attack by the enemy. So we went to bible study. And now I see why the enemy was really trying to keep me away.

The bible study group is going over Joyce Meyer's "How to hear from God". And tonights lesson...... drumroll........ PEACE.

Anyone that knows me, KNOWS I struggle with finding peace. I live in total chaos most days. I get caught up in the stress of life, in the struggles, and when I am super busy (like I have been lately), little things just get me wound up. (well I am a pretty wound up person anyways). The more I have on my plate, the less I a able to find any peace in anything.

But tonight, I felt like God was talking DIRECTLY to me. Not just in the adoption process, but in life in general. I NEED to find PEACE. Everyone has stress, everyone is busy, but I let it BOTHER me, when some can just let it roll off their backs. THEY can find peace.... I need to be able to find peace. I need peace in the adoption process, I need peace in raising teenagers, I need peace in my marriage, I need peace in struggles, I need peace in EVERYTHING.

So... all that blabbing to say... I really enjoyed the bible study group, and I am so glad I finally went... even on the verge of tears from pain.... I didn't let the enemy win this one and I am so glad!

On the adoption journey..... We got a phone call today for a 1 week old baby girl in Minnesota. It is a private adoption, they are testing her for Down's, so the fee was "low", we would have to fly to Minnesota today to pick her up. We had to say no. I HATE that. With today's economy, Robert losing a huge amount of income, Garrett's broken foot, we just don't have the resources to pay $5,000 and airfare to Minnesota TODAY. I HATE that money had to be the determining factor (it seems it always is in my life no matter what the situation). But..... I know in my heart of hearts that if it were meant to be, it would have happened. (another fine example of PEACE at work).

FIVE THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR:
1. That I didn't give in to the enemy and went to bible study.
2. That my kids seemed to enjoy the youth group.
3. Clarity.
4. My new shoes I got today. We received gift cards from one of our companies at work, so I got a pair of new shoes today. I have THE HARDEST time finding shoes I like, so having a new pair makes me so happy!
5. Good friends. Life wouldn't be the same without them!!!!